In the age of instant communication, many of us have found ourselves being jerked around like puppets on a string; we respond to every ringing phone, "Instant Message" from Yahoo IM, and just about every other form of the "stop whatever you are doing and talk to me now" demands that come our way.

The result is predictable. A day filled with the stop-start-stop-start pattern almost always leaves you vulnerable to what Zig Ziglar calls "confusing activity with accomplishment."

This is what happens when, at the end of the day, we look back and realize that we have been busy, busy, busy, and yet, when we examine what we accomplished that mattered- those things that take us closer to the achievement of our most important goals and/or priorities, we're shocked to discover that little to nothing got done.

Some years ago (not all that long ago) it was an honor to be able to say "Yes!" when someone asked if you were able to multi-task. Multi-tasking was the new buzzword that described something that took several years for many to catch on to.

Now, almost everyone clearly understands that multi-tasking was a concept of necessity; downsizing and cutbacks required 1 person to do the work of 3. However, as the CEO of a once booming company, you couldn't expect to tell someone "Hey, you now have to do both your work and the work that Dave used to do, and we're going to pay you less than we did when all you did was your work" and have them feel good about it.

So people were told "We've noticed that you are a marvelous multi-tasker" As attention starved as we are, when someone tells us they've noticed we have a skill that stands out from everyone else, we feel good about it, don't we? Men and women everywhere felt good-for a little while. Over time it became painfully obvious to most that they had been sold a bill of goods that didn't measure up.

The research in this area is conclusive: Multi-tasking does not increase efficiency, and in most cases, only slows down and "gums" up the process. Millions of people have not stayed current with the research, however, and have established poor habits when it comes to getting-and then staying-focused.

Anytime we are moving through the day without focus, it almost always comes down to being unclear about our priorities. If most people would stop several times each day to ask themselves "Why am I doing what I'm doing right now?" they'd most likely be surprised at how often the answer (if they were honest) was "I have no idea?"

In truth, when we don't know why we are doing what we are, the real reason is probably something along the lines of doing something pleasurable to avoid doing something we deem uncomfortable. Is it any wonder then, that we so quickly answer every ringing phone? This provides us with one more distraction from the thing we are trying to avoid.

Think about it, how many times since January 1st, have you done something like clean the garage, to avoid having to do your taxes? Normally, cleaning the garage wouldn't bring much pleasure. However, when contrasted with a "tax" day, it suddenly becomes an enjoyable endeavor, does it not? So, establishing your priorities for the day is the 1st step. Only after you have determined what is important can you gain an instant awareness of what isn't.

A few weeks ago, I was having breakfast with my mother; it had been scheduled the week before and was therefore on my schedule as a priority that day.

While eating breakfast, I had forgotten to turn my cell phone to the silent mode, so when my receptionist sent a text to my phone, the "chime" went off to indicate I had received a message. When I picked up my phone to turn it to "silent" I could see that I had received a call from Kim Agle, the producer of FOX and Friend's at FOX News. They were calling to see if I was available for a live interview on national television at 3:30 pm- I would be analyzing the body language of President Bush and John MCain.

You might be thinking "Vince, you did drop everything right then and call her back immediately, right?" No, I didn't.

The short time I had scheduled with my mother that morning still had about 15 minutes remaining. Since I had failed to silence the message until I was ready for it, I was faced with making a decision about what to do. Hard? Not at all. I was very clear about my priority at that moment. In the 15 minutes I had waited, Kim had found someone else to do the interview. When I finally spoke to her, she said "Is it okay if we call again Vince, is that okay?" I said "Sure, I'd love to hear from you again."

In terms of free publicity, and the resulting speaking engagements and product sales, 5 minutes of airtime on FOX News is worth tens of thousands of dollars- A YEAR! The real cost however, is found in deviating from your values, from your pre-determined priorities, and getting in the habit of jumping midstream from one thing to another. My mother is 63 years old. The day will come much sooner than I want; when I would trade everything I have for another 15 minutes with her. I'll take it now instead.

Would I love for Kim to call again? You better believe it!

But please understand, there are very few phone calls (if any) in that, if not answered, will ruin the rest of your life.

Get rid of "call waiting." If you were standing outside your office talking with someone important to you, and then, someone walked up and started tapping on your shoulder- wanting to talk to you about something- would you stop and visit with them, making the person you had been talking to wait? Why then would you flash over to take an incoming call while talking to someone else?

Get a secretary or an answering service to take ALL of your calls. I can't begin to tell you how freeing it was to hire someone to take ALL of my incoming business calls. If you are answering your own calls, I'll better a dollar to a doughnut that you are neglecting an important area of your life- wasting time- and attention- fielding calls here and there, while you could be working to promote your business, spend time with your family etc.

In short, determine what your priorities for the next day will be. Then, once you have started working on one, refuse to be distracted by anything less than a true emergency until you are through. Bestselling author of "The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People" Dr. Stephen Covey says "You can only say 'NO' and smile, when you have a much bigger 'YES' burning inside."

Your "YES" can only burn when you know what your priorities are, and then maintain that awareness. By contrast, the insignificance of the other things that come up will be evident, and easy to say "NO" to.